Tony's
My Original Story Ideas

How much do you know about the life and times of
Jerri Blank?





INSTRUCTIONS: Java required! It's easy. Just read each question and click on the button in front of your answer. The computer will keep score for you. Try to get at least 7 points. To find the answers, go here. Good luck!





1. In the first episode, "Old Habits, New Beginnings", Jerri's homemade drug "glint" accidentally killed...
Kimberly Timbers
Tammy Littlenut
Poppy Downes
Lizzy Abrams

2. In episode 1-04, "Who Wants Cake? They All Want Cake", why was Jerri chosen to confirm that a student is retarded?
She'd just gotten braces and everyone knows retarded people like shiny
    things.
She had an old Blank family recipe for a Jell-O sheet cake, and it's a well-
    known fact that "they all want cake."
Principal Blackman figured that, "it takes one to know one."
She'd been volunteering as a social worker after school, so she'd had a lot
    of contact with the mentally handicapped.

3. In episode 1-02, "A Burden's Burden", Jerri was given a 10 lb. baby to care for. She named him Dizzy. In episode 1-05, "Bogie Nights", we learned that Jerri actually had a teenaged son that she'd given up during her days in Florida. What was the name of the fruit of Jerri's womb?
Orlando
Ricky
Jimmy Tickles
Craig Snow

4. Where was Guy Blank in episode 1-03, "Dreams on the Rocks"?
traffic court
Greece
being cremated
New Orleans Mardi Gras parade

5. Just before Jerri told Sara that she would be starring as Mama in the Flatpoint High production of "A Raisin in the Sun" (episode 1-03, "Dreams on the Rocks"), Sara revealed to Jerri that she...
seduced Principal "Black Man"
put drops of Visine in Jerri's juice, to give her the shits.
loosened the stitches in Jerri's costumes.
herself had once starred in "A Raisin in the Sun" as Mama.

6. In episode 1-04 "Who Wants Cake?", the Pleasure Club's field trip destination was...
the Flatpoint Galleria
Dairy Queen
Good Time Island
an orgy in a SoHo loft

7. Who was the Blank family's meat delivery truck driver who was introduced in episode 1-08, "Feather in the Storm" and later became the widowed Sara's lover in episode 2-07, "To Love, Honor, and Pretend"?
Miss Steak
Chuck
Stew
Sam the butcher

8. In episode 2-03, "The Virgin Jerri", who snatched Coach Wolf's cherry?
Principal Blackman
Drake Rogers
Carlos the pizza guy
Susan Cream
Craig Snow

9. In episode 1-07, "Let Freedom Ring", what did Paul Cotton spraypaint on Jerri's bedroom door?
the "N" word
G-spot
Gonads
Gooks
Good Times
Goodbye

10. In episode 1-08, "Feather in the Storm", according to Toby, what was the cafeteria serving that day?
empanadas
Jerri's pet chicken, Suki
turtle soup
boiled lobster
won tons, made by a real Chinaman.

11. In episode 2-04, "The Goodbye Guy", who was the makeup artist at Guy Blank's wake who reconstructed Guy's face to repair the mutilation done by the Mt. Valley Rabid Dogs?
Doberman
Bassett
Sharpei
Yorkshire
Bernard

12. In episode 2-06, "The Blank Page", during cheerleader tryouts, what was Jerri's first response after she was asked what V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spells?
HOBOCAMP
FANDANGO
CAT
WIN

13. In episode 2-02, "Behind Blank Eyes", what was Jerri doing when she met Alan for the first time?
throwing rocks at the Indian at Tweetzie Railroad
getting her uterus scraped
rubbing her feces on her stepmom's favorite lampshade
watching a chimp drown a duck on TV
peeing in the pool

14. In episode 2-01, "Yes You Can't", what did Jerri say she wanted to do someday when she was aboard the Career Simulation Wagon?
be a doctor
be a robot
work at the artificial flower plant plant
be a banker
be a priest

15. What is the name of the long-haired student who was often in the background of many scenes throughout various episodes?
Keith Partridge
Spiro
Trake
Tiny Tim
P.John

16. In episode 1-08, "Let Freedom Ring", Jerri's beloved Suki had a fate worthy of a Shakespeare tragedy or an O. Henry short story.  Suki wasn't the only chicken to perish tragically, though. In which episode did Princess Cluckers get killed by Prince Weasel?
1-06, "Jerri is Only Skin Deep"
1-03, "Dreams on the Rocks"
1-09, "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank"
1-02, "A Burden's Burden"
1-10, "The Trip Back"

17. In episode 1-10, "The Trip Back", when Jerri was getting high with Trish in the Girl's Room stall, what did she see?
a flaming skull
nothing unusual
a carnival of colors: grays and browns and grays
all of the above

18. In episode 1-09, "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank", what was the instrument that Jerri originally played in the band?
ukulele
timpani
stringy paddle
harmonica
bagpipes
bongo drums

19. In episode 2-05, "Hit and Run", after Jerri tied Jellineck's severed face to a brick and tossed it through the Principal's window, what did Blackman say that the face resembled?
Jerri's bacon strip
a dog's chew toy
an old moccasin
a used chamois
dry roast beef from the cafeteria

20. When episode 2-07, "To Love, Honor, and Pretend", originally aired, what did Jerri watch on TV after she interrupted Sara and Stew's living room loving?
the "Jerry Springer" show
Bonzo and Koko's wedding on "Monkey Danger"
"Judge Judy"
a monkey drowning a duck in a bathtub
"Exit 57"
"Late Night with Conan O'Brien"

Tony's "Strangers With Candy" Pop Quiz
© 2000 by Antonio Lopes Lagarto IV.

Java Quiz script courtesy of The JavaScript Source





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Answers

  1. Jerri accidentally killed "Poppy Downes", the most popular girl at Flatpoint High, the gal who would've been Homecoming Queen.
  2. Although it's true that they all want cake, Jerri was chosen because of her "shiny new braces".
  3. Jerri's biological son was "Ricky", and he had her missing tooth to prove it.
  4. Jerri's dad, Guy Blank was getting some much-needed relaxation in sunny "Greece".
  5. In her younger days, Jerri's stepmom was an aspiring thespian who starred in 'Peter Pan' and staged a one-woman production of '12 Angry Men', as well as having "starred in 'A Raisin in the Sun' as Mama".
  6. Jerri sold Kimberly Timbers up the river so she could get laid (with "full release") on "Good Time Island", "Good Times!!!".
  7. It is "Stew" who delivered his meat to Sara, in more ways than one.
  8. "Carlos the pizza guy" was the one who could claim this dubious achievement. Thank God he didn't speak English. Discretion is key.
  9. When Paul learned that Jerri spraypainted the "N" word on the wall at school he decided to tell her "Goodbye" by adopting her modus operandi.
  10. It was "Empanadas" Day in the cafeteria and, man, was Jerri hungry!  But, she had to lose weight to make the Debating Team.
  11. Sara Blank heaped abundant praise upon "Sharpei" for the miracles he worked on Guy Blank with just a little putty and a spatula.
  12. Her first response was "WIN".  But she was really grasping when she then said "FANDANGO" and "HOBOCAMP".  "CAT" was the word that later gave Mr. Noblet's his first breakthrough in overcoming Jerri's illiteracy.
  13. Nature was calling, so Jerri "peed in the pool" at the moment that she met Alan. She later told him that he should have seen what she did in the shower. We can only imagine.
  14. It was the first moment that Jerri actually had a goal to do something specific after High School. She said she "wanted to be a robot", although she later resigned herself to reaching for an even lower star, working at the artificial flower plant plant.
  15. When watching "Strangers With Candy", you can either play a "Where's Waldo" type of game with "Spiro" or with pictures of Principal Blackman.
  16. Jerri tried to win Homecoming Queen votes by putting on a clown show that went terribly wrong for Princess Cluckers in 1-06, "Jerri is Only Skin Deep".
  17. First Jerri saw the "flaming skull", which she thought was "nothing unusual", then she saw the "carnival of colors: grays and browns and grays" (or "greys", if you're a Brit). So the answer is "all of the above".
  18. Jerri pounded on the "timpani" before Noblet discovered her natural propensity for the "stringy paddle".
  19. Principal Blackman thought that Jellineck's face was an "old moccasin".
  20. When Jerri watched "the wedding of Bonzo and Koko on 'Monkey Danger' " she seemed to decide to take her fake marriage to Ronnie Leggett a little more seriously.  Note: This scene was edited out after the episode originally aired, so if you got this one right you deserve extra points (but don't think you're getting them from me).