On this "painfully special" episode of
Strangers With Candy:
While cruising around in her stepmom's car, Jerri is distracted while she tries to find the right tunes to pop in the cassette player. Meanwhile, Mr. Jellineck is planning a nice picnic (complete with portobello mushroom sandwiches, brie, and macaroons) to celebrate the 9 month anniversary of his friendship with Mr. Noblet. But Chuck isn't into the cozy picnic-for-two as much as Geoffrey is. Jerri is still distracted by her quest for music and doesn't realize she has just driven over her art teacher. She backs up to see what she hit and runs over Jellineck again. Thus horrified, she realizes she has to do the right thing: flee the scene. When Noblet sees that Geoffrey needs him he runs home to his wife and hides. Back at home Jerri scrubs the blood off the front of the car and finds Jellineck's face stuck in the radiator grille. When Sara and Derrick come out to take the car, Jerri throws the face into her soapy water bucket. Back at Flatpoint High, everybody wants to know who the culprit is who could do such a heinous thing. Principal Blackman even wants to plan a reenactment. He enlists Jerri to drive a speeding vehicle to smash into a watermelon propped upon a traffic cone (representing Jellineck's head). The doctors at Saint Mortis Hospital can't do much without that missing face (which by this time is getting quite leathery) so Jerri decides to tie it to a brick and toss it through Blackman's office window. At first Onyx thinks it's an old moccasin, but when he realizes what it really is he rushes it to St. Mortis Hospital. Once the face is reattached the police are able to question him about the identity of the assailant. Will Geoffrey remember who is responsible for putting him in the hospital? A police sketch artist is brought in and Jellineck describes the culprit as an older man with an oddly smallish head, about the size of a coconut. [NOTE: in the commercials for this episode, Jellineck describes the driver as "an older man with a really bad toupee and severely bucked indian-corn teeth. I'll never forget those hideous teeth."] The resulting sketch looks suspiciously like Jerri Blank, but nobody seems to notice. For some reason, Jellineck's body rejects the face and his condition becomes critical. The only thing that could give him the will to live is if Chuck would admit that he and Geoffrey have a special relationship. As the bandages are being taken off of Mr. Jellineck Jerri announces that she's "got something to say". But before we have a chance to hear what that "something" is, Principal Blackman tells the assembled Flatpointers that he knows who committed the crime. Derrick Blank, who has driven his mother's car to the car wash fundraiser at the hospital, is deemed to be the guilty party because the car he is driving has tire marks that match the ones that were on Geoffrey's head. He proclaims his innocence, but Blackman points out that possession is nine-tenths of the law. Noblet, too, had "something to say". He starts to talk about the depth of his relationship with Geoffrey, but as soon as Jellineck's face is unveiled he decides that his confessions are unnecessary. The doctors apologize for the appearance and explain that the swelling will go down. Jerri tells them that this is just how his face is supposed to look and the doctors bask in the glory of a job well done. This experience has taught Jerri that you should always take responsibility for your actions, unless you don't have to. And Noblet has learned that you should never let your conscience trick you into owning up to the truth when there's still some chance that somebody might believe the lie. Finally, Geoffrey Jellineck has learned something he has always known, "It may be an ugly world, but at least I have a beautiful face."
Episode Title: "Hit and Run"
Original Airdate: 2/28/00
Production Number: 2-05
Directed by: Peter Lauer
Writers: Paul Dinello, Amy Sedaris
Additional Writer: Matt Lappin
Regular Cast: AS, DD, DR, GH, LS, OP, PD, SC
With: Michael Jay (Doctor), Ian Stuart (Doctor)
Also Appearing: Ward Sutton (Police Sketch Artist), Patrick Blindauer (Chip Beavers), Kimberly Masters, Troy Metcalf (Troy), Joanne Hartlaub, Carolyn Popp (Claire Noblet), Marisa Mickel, Heather Magee, Anne St. Claire, Matt Fagan (Spiro)
() n. 
Geoffrey's assailant was "...an older man with an oddly smallish head, about the size of a coconut, with a really bad toupee and severely bucked indian-corn teeth. I'll never forget those hideous teeth."
|Additional Episode Information|
· Although the Blanks have a different car from the one Guy drove in "The Goodbye Guy" the license plate number is the same, 79-69SDH. At the top of the plate are the words, "The Sly & the Family Stone State".
· The license plate on Blackman's car, DS-10669, is the same as the one on the Mt. Valley High School bus in "The Goodbye Guy".
· Jellineck is hooked up to a Heads Up Face Monitor.
· When Jerri hits Jellineck, she's listening to Golden Earring's "Radar Love".
· At the vigil for Mr. Jellineck, Chip sings Stephen Collins Foster's 1860 tune "Old Black Joe". Foster also wrote "Beautiful Dreamer", "Camptown Races", "Jeanie With The Light Brown Hair", "Massa's in de Cold Ground", "Merry, Merry Month of May", "Oh! Susanna", "Old Folks at Home [Swanee River]", and other timeless, and often racist, classics.
· Noblet has a wife in this episode even though in "A Burden's Burden" he told Jellineck that his wife, the mother of his son Seamus, is dead. When Jerri lived with him in "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank" there was no wife at the casa de Noblet, nor was there a son. We've never heard another word about Jellineck's son Toby, from "A Burden's Burden", either.
On The 'Flatpoint High School' Sign:
· "WHODUNNIT? $2 BETTING POOL"
· "BENEFIT CAR WASH -- HOT COCOA -- BIKINI GIRLS"
In The Background:
· When Jerri is signing Mr. Jellineck's "Chin Up" card there's a poster that says, "Feeling Guilty? Confess Rm. 66" behind her.
· pictures of cars hanging in the art class
· student-made pictures of faces and lips in Jellineck's hospital room
The Best Things In This Episode:
· Paul Dinello, in fine form as our favorite art teacher.
· When Jerri finds Jellineck's face and tosses it in the bucket.
· The last scene when Jerri, Noblet, and Jellineck drive off together and Jellineck's face flaps in the breeze.
Closing Credits Dance Sequence: Jerri, Jellineck, and Noblet drive off in a convertible and Geoffrey's face peels off, then it's Gurney-a-gogo as the camera passes down a hospital corridor on a runaway gurney with the cast dancing on the sidelines.
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