We Want Candy
The kooky Amy Sedaris satisfies our sweet tooth with
the long-awaited Strangers With Candy film
Text by Brandon Voss
Gay essayist David Sedaris’ oddball sister Amy has appeared
in many high-profile films and television shows (remember her
as Carrie’s book publisher on Sex and the City?), but
queer misfits know her best as Jerri Blank, the former “boozer,
user and loser” who went back to high school - at age 47! - in
Comedy Central’s Strangers With Candy.
Now, the Late Show with David Letterman regular
returns to the role of the fugly, racist, bisexual ex-con in the
oft-delayed big-screen prequel to the now-defunct cult series
(which, like the film, she co-wrote with co-stars Paul Dinello and
Stephen Colbert).
We called the actress, author and cook (her cheeseballs and
cupcakes are divine) to discuss her little movie that could - plus
watersports, lesbian admirers and Nicole Kidman’s ass.
HX: Most PR people connect journalists to celebrities,
so it’s very weird having your home number.
Do you feel like a celebrity?
What do you do around the city for fun?
Do you get recognized a lot on the streets?
Are fans angry when they realize you’re not Jerri?
Strangers With Candy might be one of the
most quotable TV shows in history. Which line are fans most
obsessed with?
It’s taken forever to get your film released. That must
have been frustrating.
What were you able to get away with in the film version
that you couldn’t on TV?
Do you not say “fuck” in real life?
Speaking of the fans, you’re one of the few
personalities whom all gay men seem to agree on - like
Madonna.
The film focuses a lot on the secret gay relationship
between Colbert’s and Dinello’s teacher characters.
Did women’s prison turn Jerri on to the ladies or was
she always bi?
How did you cast all those butch lesbians for the
opening prison scene?
How did you get big celebrities like Matthew Broderick,
Sarah Jessica Parker, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kristen Johnson,
Sir Ian Holm, Justin Theroux and Alison Janney to do the
film?
No one minded taking a pay cut?
By the way, your last line as nosy neighbor Gladys
Kravitz was the best thing about Bewitched.
You also have a book on entertaining, I Like You: Hospitality
Under the Influence, coming out in October. Any good advice in there for
gays?
© 2006 HX Media, LLC
Photography by Leeta Harding
Amy Sedaris: Oh, it is? [laughs] Everyone
has my number or a key to my apartment.
I don’t, actually. My agent will call me and be like, “Oh,
they’re having this thing!” And I’ll say, “Is the word ‘celebrity’
attached? Just say no to anything that uses the word ‘celebrity!’”
For fun I stay home. I don’t usually go out for my
entertainment, I bring my entertainment to me. I grocery shop
every day, but I don’t go to bars.
Jerri Blank is such a disguise that luckily I can hide behind
it. But usually it’s the kind of people who have been to the U.S.
Open or wash their hair - those people notice me.
Yeah, people get disappointed when I’m not a junkie
whore. Sorry! That’s my sister.
“Pee on me.” I was stalling because I couldn’t think of my
next line in the scene, so I just improvised that.
Not at all! I never expected things to go smoothly with it in
the first place. It was like, You know what? It’s a really funky
seed we’ve planted, and it’s gonna sprout when we least expect
it. It’s so Strangers With Candy! Of course Jerri
Blank isn’t going to open up on time!
We never set out to get away with stuff on TV. We just went
with what was funny, and then once in a while we’d hear
something from the censors like, “You can’t say ‘dirty, filthy Jew
wallet.’” But we never went out of our way to be shocking, and
same for the movie. I know it’s rated R, but I don’t even know if
we say the f-word.
Oh! I can say “fuck!” I don’t know why I just said “the f-
word!” [laughs] But the movie is very different than the
TV show, and I think one thing that will get criticized is that we
had to change a lot of things. We had to do a lot of recasting
because the students were looking older and Jerri has to be the
old one. It’s like when an independent actor becomes a movie
star and you turn on them. I can see that happening with
Strangers. But people that were faithful to the TV show still have
the TV show.
I guess it’s because I’m a misfit. And Jerri Blank is such a
misfit, and I think that a lot of homosexuals find themselves in
that category as well.
That’s just something that I thought was hilarious, and I’m
glad it was heightened in the movie. They had a whole other
scene together that was originally going to open the movie, but
we ended up dropping it because of the budget. They get into a
car accident, and of course they jump in the back seat and start
making out.
I think she was always a little bi - “the pole and the hole” -
because she just needed to be loved. It didn’t matter to her as
long as she got something from somewhere.
Very easily, let me tell you! One girl actually did time. I
think she had a little crush on me.
Some of them were fans, some of them did it as a favor to
me. Really, I’m the weakest one in the movie! I had so much
working against me. The heat was beating me down because I
had the turtleneck, the wig and the fatty suit on. Then I had
stitches in my mouth from dental surgery and I was stretching
them to do the face. I don’t even look at it as a Jerri Blank movie
- it’s all of our film.
Are you kidding me? It’s like, You get a hot lunch -
what more do you want? Why, who’s complaining?
People always say, “Oh, they cut you out!” And I’m like,
“No, that was my only line in the movie - ‘Abner! Abner!’” I still
enjoyed the movie. Nicole Kidman is so good in anything. But I
wonder if she wore a fake ass, because in real life she has no
ass. And then in the movie, I’m like, Where’d that bump
come from? I’m dying to know!
For the homo-sex-uals? Well, if gay guys drop by unexpectedly and you
want them to leave, just don’t get them started on the color beige, because
they’ll go on forever. And it’s a good time to empty your stash of bad liquors.
Just dump it all on them.